Over and over I have conversations with people who are looking for a real community but they confuse it with the imagination of the ideal they carry. That ideal comes from watching too many youtube clips from places and people they admire without living with these people closely for some time and from idealizing saint stories from the past. In that imaginary world of their ideal community they feel great, they thrive 365 days a year, they are never offended or hurt (well, maybe sometimes, but only on good days and only if the prophetic life-changing word follows), they are always heard and are always understood deeply, their ideas are implemented as one of the most or more important, they feel they know the answers to so many problems that can be fixed NOW if only someone would listen to them etc.

In reality, they see through the small lens of their (valid and important) personal experience only. They are often stuck on themselves so much they can not see the greater things the Lord is doing. They are wanting their own fix so badly, they operate mostly in a compare/contrast mode continually, juxtaposing their imaginary ideal with the brokenness and incompatibility and weaknesses of the reality they witness around them. They are not ready to build anything, they are just trying to figure out how to change things and people all-around to fit their personal ideal that will never exist unless they will commune with their own heart only.

In a normal community:

The mess is inevitable.

The controversies are welcome.

Forgiveness is more than thinking someone is just immature. It is feeling the Father's love for 'them'.

The disappointments are learning curves.

The growing pains are carried by many, not by few.

The humility is in making sure we have enough toilet paper for the next meeting.

We do not know everyone but everyone is known.

The desire to become a saint is real, the pressure to become an ideal version of someone's imagination is dismissed as quickly as it shows up.

The grumbling and complaining is turned into 1. prayer first and 2. hard long talks with lost of gestures and laughter.

The ideological differences are discussed, discerned, and decided upon.

The self-identification will turn many away - it's a good thing when people say 'it's not my thing' bc only then you can grow with those who recognize 'it's my thing'.

The yes is yes and no is no and we keep each other at it.

We don't give up just because we don't like it.

We become a family that will end up in heaven one day.

From FB post dated Sept. 11, 2018

P.S. Our STF Missionaries and some School of the Heart alumni are taking Emotionally Healthy Discipleship course now in our COR Groups to establish solid emotionally healthy spirituality and relationship fundamentals among ourselves.