I am your Strength
Griselda joined The Norbertine Sisters in summer 2022 as a postulant:
In July of 2017, I heard of Stone to Flesh for the first time. I had never heard of anything like it and I really wanted to do it. I had gone to the School of the Heart’s website and I read through everything twice! I know now that I was super excited by what I saw but I mostly thought “I couldn’t do that”. You see, back then I had pretty intense and crippling anxiety, my mind was full of lies and it was really difficult for me to believe what was actually true. I wanted to apply so badly but I thought they wouldn’t accept me. The application asked me to list things like my strengths and other things like that and I couldn’t do it because I didn’t believe I had any. I just closed the laptop and cried. That night I laid in bed trying to think of what I could write and I felt God say, “I am your strength and your weakness is that you don’t always rely on Me”. With that, I applied the night before the application was due.
Stone to Flesh has given me a community of people who are seeking God. They have inspired me to go deeper, to read my Bible, read spiritual books, to freely worship God, to fast, and to pray for people. Before joining School of the Heart I knew I wanted to do all these things but it was hard to do it consistently or at all on my own. I would be way too embarrassed to pray out loud or to pray for someone else. For the first two years, I would have anxiety before every meeting because I was scared of everything. I was anxious about everything in the first two years. I was anxious about everything praying out loud, praying for people, outreaches, small group, and then leading small group, testimonies, having to greet and talk to people. I am still a quiet introvert but these things don’t make me anxious anymore. It took me having to do these things regularly to let go of fear and negative self-talk.
One of my favorite parts of this community is that Iwona tells us to hurry up and be our real selves so that we can be loved even when people know our worst selves. I have gotten to see many of the community members when they are “real” especially when things are not going as planned (which happens a lot) and I love that we get past it. The Stone to Flesh Community’s culture has made it a safe place where even though I was being stretched I was also being held together. I was accepted.
Griselda and Joshy at his First Communion and Confirmation.
Last year as my 7-year-old nephew, Joshy, was passing away from cancer I was able to experience receiving from the community in a new way. With every decline in health, it seemed like Joshy’s body had no more to give yet he was giving more to all around him. In those months, the prayers and visits from STF people were everything to my family and I. I was surrounded by people who were seeking to go deeper with God.
Today, I am thankful for the Stone to Flesh Community and everything that I experienced and learned, especially for all the people in my life that have spoken into me, shaped me, and that I have grown with.
As a voluntary missionary at Stone to Flesh Community, Griselda helped STF SOTH in Santa Ana last year and has been with us since year one School of the Heart serving in Encounter Groups, Hospitality, and more.