You go to see yourself

You don’t go to the wilderness to cultivate the land, to do something about the surroundings, to build or plant or grow, to organize your plans, to have perfect solitude to write a book. You go to see there is nothing there except your cave, except yourself and everything that will come out from you and what is ready to come inside you. You go to see if you can get without boba teas and endless TikTok chatter. You go to see how you are dependent on preachers memes and them tagging you. You go to agree with your heart wanting out from the maze of possibilities and ads to change your life. You go to see that to become better after buying next thing on Amazon and signing up for coaching is an illusion. You go to sit without AC and try to see why time takes forever without Spotify. You go to see that you are not that important and people move on without you. They don’t text back. You go to hear no one, see no one, feel everyone and everything. You go to complain about it all to nobody. You go to shut up and realize you are. You go to fight for what’s left in you and what’s ahead. You go to leave illusions behind and search for the cisterns with life. You go so you can come back a bit beaten, a bit humiliated, hopefully unassuming, occasionally strengthened in truth, yet alive with what’s left and what’s true.

It’s a good beginning to a simple life that matters. Your heart turns from stone to flesh.