Trust that Transforms
Through the last few years I’ve found myself invited to pray with or pray for people, and as a Christian - it’s absolutely a gift to respond to these moments of vulnerability and intimacy as the hands and feet of our God. To be so close to hear His heartbeat for his people and for me. While all of this is undoubtedly beautiful, I tend to be one of the ones who drags my feet to lead, too scared to not be the “right” person to usher in what God wants to do.
What an ego, right?
I tend to start to feel like Eminem where my palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. When all of those thoughts finally fade, and I hear it - who God is, who I am, who the woman in front of me is, and everything in me knows how this story ends and we press in to see the glory of God on the faces of his people.
As a missionary this past year with Stone to Flesh, my ego has gone through the wringer but I see glory. I see how God isn’t really interested in my excuses or “reasons” why I don’t think I’m ever going to be good enough. I’ve found the opportunity to serve and the way God plans to move has absolutely nothing to do with my feelings but my humility and trust. Trusting in His word that He is who He says He is. Trust that a Father won’t ever abandon His family. Trust that healing and prayer go hand in hand. Trust that everything works together for our good. I’ve seen this trust transform my life and my relationships. This advent I had a sweet reminder of all of who our Father is.
Stone to Flesh was invited to be the prayer team for a virtual event. It’s never my instinct to want to lead, but when my partner for the event asked me to lead, I was quick to ask them to just let me intercede because I thought he was more experienced. He graciously let me start as a quiet intercessor, but I had this feeling that because he had asked me, God wasn’t going to let me off the hook that easily. While we were praying for a woman, as I heard her story and I realized there are silent prayers only your sisters could understand their weight. Hearing her story and feeling the love our Father has moved my own heart into action, and the healing that was experienced left us all in wonder. The joy on her face as we all knew God had met where she was, is the glory of God. I may never feel like the “right” Christian to lead or pray, but I’m here humbled to respond, trusting in the heart of our Father.
This year may have been one of the most challenging for a lot of us. So much of our lives were changed, challenged, and divided. My humble prayer for all of us this Christmas season is that we continue not to be the “right” person for the job, but to be humble and keep seeking the light of the North Star that leads us to Jesus. May God keep you and find yourself held by the arms of a loving Father whose heart beats for you.
Laura is a graduate of year three School of the Heart. She is apart of the intercession and prayer Diakonia and also helps in other numerous ways in the community with her time, heart, and giftings.