The Bottom Line
You can't know someone unless you live with him/her or spend a significant amount of time with him/her. And then, sooner or later, you will dislike him/her. And that's how spiritual friendships are born and Christian communities are raised, because mostly it's not about what can we do together, but what can we become together. That's why the majority of people, after being offended by whatever ticks them off, are quitting and resolving to go back to the known, predictable and safe, excusing themselves by mantras of self-centered 'I'm not being loved, understood", when in reality they are only overly self-centered. They do not want to deal with others, neither give in to the vulnerability which is the beginning of spiritual self-discovery. Keeping surface politeness costs them enough. They rather willingly camp with their fear, offense or hurt instead of seeking The Way out.
It's counter-love that people would like to listen to those whom they really do not know but only see a perception of them (mostly through media), but they refuse to stick to those who can temper their virtues the most. It's really crazy when people want to follow some distant media or whoever persona but can't get over the hurdles to follow nearby flesh and blood that is openly inviting them into their world. Building Christian communities is not for those who look for convenience and applause, but for the broken hearted who will refuse to act as only consumers of encounters.
The bottom line is this: if you can't put up with someone's crap and show love then (in all forms), and if you are refusing others to help you with getting rid of your crap, it's all just a game, not a Christian community; it's pretense, not reality.
We do not want to create the culture of personality or talent admirers but a culture of mutual submission and supporting each others' efforts in fulfilling their mission.